I bet you’re a bit like me. You are a force in your own right, but perfectionism and comparison ends up placing a violent delay in your movement.
You’re not living up to your highest potential.
I’m getting straight to the point here. You’re not.
And if you were, you wouldn’t have clicked on this post to read it.
But no shame.
We all have been there.
And honestly, this is a place we often revisit, because no one is at their peak all the time.
Sometimes we feel the weight of feeling small and insignificant after seeing where other people are in life and what they’ve accomplished.
Moreover, it’s the lack of faith we have in ourselves when we compare how much we know or even how we look to others.
Consequently, with comparison comes shame.
You dishonor yourself and you dishonor your journey.
You see, comparison and perfectionism only steals your joy and your peace, while leaving you defeated and drained.
Instead of being in the game, perfectionism and comparison will have you on the sidelines, watching and cheering others on…
And let me just be the one to say, that’s cool sis.
Supporting the dreams, the goals, and the milestones of others is absolute bomb.
You’re amazing.
Praise God.
But now let’s address that burning in your soul when you’re like…
“hmmff, I can do that too. I’m just as smart, just as talented, if not more.”
If only you actually Believed you could do it.
If only you would stop waiting for the perfect timing like…
- I just need a few more years of education.
- More experience is truly what I need.
- Once I get my health/body right I can focus.
- After I finish this work on my house.
- After I solve world hunger.
- No, after I save the dolphins.
- Hold up, when the kids graduate high school.
Theeeennnnnnnnnnnn,
I’m going to address this burning feeling in my soul.
The repetitive thoughts about your purpose that won’t go away, and the feeling of incompleteness and lack of fulfillment you feel daily.
And oh don’t forget the slight anger and disappointment you feel every time you recollect on how you’re not working on your goals nor meeting your milestones.
Whew, that was a lot.
But I promise I’m not coming for you.
By the end of this post you will have a deeper understanding of…
- How to truly overcome perfectionism and comparison.
- Stop feelings of inferiority and inadequacy.
- Be in a space where you’re excited about where you are and who you are in entirety.
Because sis, someone is dying to be where you are right now.
So let’s dive in.
1. Dominate Your Level of Self-Awareness
I want to start off by saying this.
Your environment, your experiences, what you listen to, see, and hear all contribute to what you think.
As a result, The mind is very impressionable, and very SUGGESTIVE.
Just because the mind brings thoughts into your consciousness that are suggestive, doesn’t mean they’re necessarily true.
- “I’m a failure”
- “I can’t”
- “I’m ugly”
- “I’m not as beautiful as…”
To clarify, these are suggestions, and YOU HAVE the ABILITY to CONSCIOUSLY reject these types of thoughts.
And preferably do so before they reach your subconscious mind (a thought/idea reaches the subconscious through repetition).
Now, if you truly know who you are, and I’m not talking about your name and where you were born, or even your profession.
Alternatively, I’m talking about knowing that you’re a spiritual being in a physical body having a worldly encounter, placed on this earth with a purpose.
If you understand what The Creator has said about you and you’ve had personal encounters, then you should know EXACTLY who you are.
Significantly, it shouldn’t matter what anyone has to say (even your own negative and judgmental inner conversation).
You are not perfect, and never will be perfect. Whereas, nobody that The Creator used in the Word was perfect.
So why would you ever feel like you had to have everything together or be in the perfect environment to progress?
Alternatively, preparation is necessary, but not perfection.
Perfectionism is idling, it only yields procrastination and defeat.
Clearly, when you know who you are, you know exactly what you’re capable of.
- You know you have power & authority.
You’re unique and no one could ever come close to being you even with more than a billion other people in the lineup!
It’s important to really grasp this. And I’m going to be honest with you, do your best to get this part right.
Unquestionably, be unmovable in your character and your belief system that no matter what happens, no one can just say anything to you or about you and you just believe it and accept it about yourself.
Don’t downplay your power.
You are a walking expression of God.
Again, you can show appreciation for others in terms of outer appearance or what they do or have accomplished, but…
Honor thyself. You are a force within itself.
2. Get to Know Power & Authority
This is an extension of the previous step. I say that because in order to truly elevate your self-awareness you must know The Creator and you must seek and have some form of understanding of why He created you.
Unquestionably, Nothing under the sky is created without knowing what exactly it is going to be used for.
That’s the blueprint.
So, you have this goal that you have been focusing on but haven’t gotten around to executing.
Part of it is fear of failure. Part of it is waiting for a better time (perfectionism always convinces you it’s not the right time). In addition, you tell yourself you don’t have the resources.
On the other hand, now you compare the success and progression of others with your stagnancy when in reality, it’s you holding you back.
And no prayer is not going to move things. Don’t be caught waiting on God, when God’s waiting on you.
Notably, the amazing thing about God is that He speaks, and He will tell you exactly what you need to do to shift into the next level of your life.
So spend a little more time with God, and allow him to speak to your struggles.
- To the fear, He tells you You can do all things through Christ.
- When you think you need to wait, He reminds you to number your days and live selflessly.
- In addition, when you think you need more resources He reminds you that He will supply all your needs and have faith in what you can’t see from your worldly perspective.
Notice how powerful, how awesome, how wise The Creator is. Then note that He created you and those same characteristics are in you.
Deep down underneath the culture, the negative thinking, your upbringing, the hurtful things people have said and done to you. Deep down underneath that garbage, the truth lies.
The Creator reminds you of who you are.
3. Constantly Pursue a State of Gratitude
When you’re focused on everything you’re grateful for, you have no time to think about lack or what someone else has.
4. Outsmart Your Smartest Trigger
Social media is a consistent trigger for a lot of people because of the instant access to a plethora of images and videos all in one place in a matter of seconds.
Consequently, you have so many images to compare yourself and your life to.
So many perfect images with the right lighting and the perfect angles.
Body comparison is huge, so is lifestyle comparison.
1. Take note of which social media platforms usually incite you to start comparing or which search terms or categories you look up.
2. Try to keep the interaction with your triggers at a minimum. A lot of what we think is subconscious and sometimes you may not notice your comparing or feeling envious or covetousness until you’re like 20-30 min into scrolling so just be aware.
3. If you find yourself in that space where you’re like…
- Hmmm, I wish I had her hair.
- I wish my body was like that.
- Why don’t I have a car like that?
- When will I be able to vacation like that?
4. You just need to stop yourself, and distance yourself from the trigger.
5. Regroup mentally, go over the other practical tips in this post.
6. When you’re at a better state of mental peace and stability revisit what you may have been searching for.
5. Remember You Will Never Be Them
Period.
“Don’t cross your own boundaries just to seek external validation and your sense of worth.”
6. Make Love Not War
Make peace with your imperfections, not perfectionism.
Moreover, learn to Love every part of you unconditionally.
7. Crown Yourself With Reality
I don’t care how perfect someone’s life may seem, they don’t have it all together.
No one is strong in every single area of life.
Therefore, when you’re focusing on and desiring whatever physical, behavioral (think personality), or financial (think houses and cars) characteristics that someone else has, remember the reality of it is they are lacking in some area.
I’m not coming for anyone but…
- Great personality, and flat boobs.
- Very pretty face, but not that smart.
- Big house, nice car, and struggles with substance abuse.
Now, remember, most people are not going to openly and willingly show their flaws and struggles.
So it’s up to you now to snap back into reality, take a step back and talk to yourself.
“It seems as if this person has everything I want and their life seems so put together, but that’s not true.”
A mind of perfectionism will convince you that you have to be, act, or look a certain way just to be accepted, just to be worthy.
But that’s not reality.
Perfectionism is not reality. It’s not authentic.
Without a doubt, in the same way, they have some things and abilities you don’t have, you also have things and capabilities they could never have nor duplicate.
And for the record having these types of feelings are nothing to be ashamed of.
In particular, everyone deals with these issues because we’re social beings. We all want to be liked and accepted in a community of people.
Not to the point where you lose yourself and your authenticity, but nonetheless, you follow me.
If comparison and jealousy wasn’t a major issue among humans, The Creator wouldn’t have listed “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods” in the commandments. God already knows our hearts, and after all, we’re flesh.
8. Live in Your Truth
Easier said than done. Just remember, what you give a voice to, loses its power over you.
Work through your thoughts and emotions. Stay in a place of perpetual healing.
9. Boss Up
Be so focused on your journey and your assignment you have no time to think about how much you want what someone else has.
When you’re engulfed in something that you love you lose your sense of time and thought.
Hence, we already know the mind can’t think of two things at once, and when you’re obsessed with one thing, all other thoughts seem trivial and unimportant.
- Don’t give yourself the time to compare.
- Instead, stay focused on your goals and milestones.
You should be so hyped that The Creator has given YOU this assignment and no one else.
Also knowing you’re perfectly equipped to manifest that burning passion and nagging thought that’s been in your mind and in your heart.
Know that your personal blessing is being prepared for you and will come when you are mature enough and wise enough to manage and keep it…
not when it’s convenient for you.
In short, it’s like the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher will appear.
10. Empower, Don’t Judge
If your brain and/or subconscious is wired to judge or comment on a consistent basis when you see others or observe their behaviors, it’s only natural that your mind will suggest to you that people are consistently judging and commenting on your looks and behavior as well.
Therefore, this can make you feel insecure and kick in perfectionism and comparison in gear.
Instead of judging radiate patience, exude empathy and understanding, be captivated by love.
Remember what you put out in the universe comes back, 10x fold.
Wrapping up
To quickly summarize, feelings of inadequacy can be quickly squelched by removing your focus and attention from unhealthy comparison and perfectionism.
To assist in accomplishing this, be grounded in who you are and what you believe. Have a thriving relationship with The Creator, and constantly seek the good in YOUR life.
Furthermore, be aware of your triggers, and practice self-control in the avoidance or at the least limitation of them.
Remember, you will never be able to become someone else, so make peace with your imperfections. Learn to love what the world doesn’t seem to appreciate (you not suppose to be loving what the world loves anyway! go read your bible).
Stay rooted in reality and honor the purity of your soul and spirit.
Live in your truth and stay primarily focused on your God-given assignment with no room nor time to have any desire for someone else’s anything.
Lastly, as you shine your light and empower others, you will be empowered. So keep a heart posture of love, gratitude, and kingdom excellence.
Until Next Time With Love,
