Life is experienced based on your perception of it.
Do you see the glass as half full or half empty?
It matters how you view life and how you view the world.
One of the most powerful things in your possession is your perspective.
One of the most fascinating views of perception happened during 9/11.
How many people were running late to work that morning to the towers just to find out they missed a near-death experience or missed death completely?
At the moment with their limited view and perspective of what was going on- the day was starting off pretty badly.
And those who made it on time to work thought the day would be pretty normal.
You see hindsight is 20/20.
It’s clearer than a bright sunny day without a cloud in sight.
What’s hard for us is being in the present, not able to see why we’re going through what we’re going through and the purpose behind the madness.
I’m here to tell you that happiness and pure joy is within your reach just like it is for everyone else.
You’re so capable of living a happier life, healthier life, and more fulfilled life by just making small changes.
I’m not here to lie to you and say you can have whatever your heart desires and give you some magic formula on how to get whatever you want when you want, -that’s fantasy.
What I’ve learned over the years is that some things we want are outside the will of God for our lives or outside His timing.
No amount of wishing, praying, manifesting, or positive thinking will bring it to fruition.
In the midst of the season where you are and where you desire to be, in the midst of your wishing and desiring…
You can still be happy where you are now with what you have regardless of your circumstances.
Let’s dive in.
Accept and Love Yourself
This is truly the number one rule in living a happier, simpler life if we’re honest.
But it can be easier said than done.
To accept and love oneself one must know thyself.
- Not the version of you that wants to impress people you don’t know.
- Not the version of you that was hurt as a child by the words of others so you strive to be everything opposite of what you naturally were before the pain.
- Not the version of you fearing rejection.
- And not the version of you that society has repeatedly shown you to trap you in a form of conformity.
- Please read this list again.
You must know you.
The real you.
This may not be for everyone but for some of you…
You’ve been the constant image of what you’ve seen on social media, what you’ve heard in your favorite songs by your favorite artists, and what you’ve seen in glorified TV shows, and movies.
Visions of what’s cool, what’s celebrated, what’s accepted.
Molded by the words and actions of others.
It’s the same reason women feel the pressure to undergo cosmetic procedures, liposuction, and changing their butts, chins, noses, and teeth.
Anything to gain the confidence, attention, and attraction we’ve been told we’ll receive by conforming to a certain standard of “beauty”.
It’s social acceptance and it’s a powerful drug.
In a world telling you that to be accepted you need to be someone other than yourself or look like someone else, it’s an easy setup to indeed despise who you really are.
When you only see pictures of women who look nothing like you do naturally-
It’s easy to be unsatisfied with what you see in the mirror and aspire to something that’s been force-fed to you for so long…
even subconsciously.
The first step in overcoming this is to show appreciation for what you got going on for you on the inside.
- Are you honest?
- Will you never compromise your integrity by manipulation?
- Do you value people over things and making money?
- Are you a peacemaker?
- What are your values?
- Your standards?
- Your ethics?
In recent weeks I’ve been finding it funny just how much we idolize and imitate celebrities and the trends they start and rep the brands they wear- while not really knowing them.
It’s like the blind leading the blind.
Someone can be full of scandal, full of deceit, but we still rock with them.
Luxury brands can use their money and influence to support crimes and causes that go against our value system, but we’ll still save our hard-earned money to get that one handbag or one pair of shoes to show people … we got it.
We idolize these people that are no better than us.
Take for example Kim Kardashian. Since she is very well known let’s look at her objectively.
- Used more well-known celebrities to garner fame.
- Lied about being a victim of a sex tape leak.
- A role model for many young girls.
- Publicly acknowledged she’s unsatisfied with herself and how she looks.
- Underwent multiple cosmetic procedures.
- Numerous failed marriages
- Consistently shows off her body for money, ads, and sponsors as if it’s “normal” and not perverse.
Need I go on?
Although she is praised by society, millions of people follow her, and she’s awarded many sponsorships due to her “fame” …
Is that something women especially young girls should really aspire to?
No.
Kim K has nothing on an ordinary girl, whose character is not laced with deception and lies who knows who she is and is content with how God made her.
But society tells us the opposite.
Alternatively, you must find value in yourself and what you stand for.
Hold onto that with dear life as society tells you it’s the Kim K’s of the world that should be celebrated.
Be content with where you are but have a plan for where you’re going.
We live in an age where posting your child online can be a money-making, sponsoring opportunity.
Where making music about WAP (Cardi B) can land you on the grammys and the privilege of interviewing the potential president of the US.
We live in a society where going viral on TIKTOK with perverse videos of men imitating women (Dylan Mulvaney) can land you being invited to the Whitehouse, winning awards you didn’t earn, and land you thousands of dollars in sponsorships.
So it’s easy to look at your life, where you’re at, and think there’s so much more you can have right now.
There are so much more people my age or even younger who are “accomplishing” and wondering why it seems things are moving at a slow pace for you.
And if you’ve ever thought like this, The Powerful 10-Step Solution for Common Feelings of Inadequacy as a Woman is for you.
That brings me to my next point.
Be content
Sometimes (most times) we don’t know the amount of stress, turmoil, and self-hatred someone is enduring despite their success.
I often think about why some people get fame, access, and money so much easier and quicker than others.
But that’s a topic for another discussion.
Know that God is in control and in due time/season you will see your reward.
And also the reward of the wicked may I add.
Trust His timing, trust His will for your life.
Sometimes you may wish for something, pray for something, and not get it, or not get it when you thought you should have.
God will reveal to you why it didn’t work out.
When I thought I met someone who could be my potential husband I was so frustrated and broken that things didn’t work out.
I prayed, I wished, I thought positively, the energy was strong enough for any manifestation guru to agree it should have come to pass.
But God…
When God’s hand is on your life, I don’t care how much positive thinking, manifestation, “feel good all the time” juju you’re into.
When He says no, it’s no.
If He says not now, it’s not now.
But always remember that regardless of how it looks, regardless of your understanding, all things work together for good for those who love the Lord.
Think for Yourself
Love People
Need I explain more?
Society has placed so many labels on us to divide us.
When in reality, we’re all the same.
White, Black, Hispanic, Jew, Christian, Lawyer, Doctor, it really doesn’t matter.
Before any title, we universally connect through us just being human.
The good Samaritan in the bible was the least likely person to stop and help the dying and beaten man on the road.
People from the dying man’s tribe and culture walked passed him and moved with no compassion even though they were kin.
Let’s not let the label placed upon us, where we grew up, the features of our face, the color of our skin, the religion we choose to participate in divide us- leading further into isolation.
In the words of MLK Jr.. “.. hate scars the soul and distorts the personality.”
Fear, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, and hate, all take you out of your character in who you truly are and how you were created to connect with others and the world.
Love is happiness.
Happiness is love.
Sharing it, receiving it, embracing it completely.
Now let me say this, you can love someone and still call a spade a spade.
God loves us, but he still calls us out of our sins.
He still allows His Holy Spirit to convict us when we’re doing wrong so we know we’re wrong.
Our parents love us, but they still disciplined us.
Love shouldn’t surpass ignorance.
Deal with Fear and Unworthiness
Don’t let self-limiting beliefs define who you were created to become.
10 of the Best Strategies to Build Your Self-Confidence, Be Confident in Your Own Skin, & Kill Self-Limiting Beliefs will help you deal with fear, unworthiness, and a lack of self-confidence.
Deal with discipline, sacrifice, and purpose
There is no discipline without sacrifice.
And with true happiness comes discipline and sacrifice.
It comes with acknowledging your life isn’t just about you and your own self-interests.
It comes with the investment in others.
Contrary to what our society preaches and indulges in- a life of convenience and self-ambition and division…
it’s really a setup.
A setup for isolation.
A set up for depression.
And a setup for unhappiness.
Once you realize, “I have something to contribute to the world”- things get lighter.
It’s not just the celebrities, the entertainers, the great men and women of history that came before you- you have your own story to write and your contribution to give to make this world better.
Aka- your purpose.
And the only way to fulfill that purpose is through discipline, which requires sacrifice.
Why is this so important in living a happier life?
You’ll get to a point where you (hopefully) realize, this life isn’t about just you.
Yes having goals, aspirations, and ambitions in your own self-interest is great but will they really bring that much fulfillment?
How fulfilled and happy are you to buy a new outfit or gadget for yourself compared to truly helping someone in need even if it was just a relative?
You remember how it feels to be someone’s hero that’s in need.
That’s an even bigger feeling of fulfillment than any personal agenda could ever bring.
Wrapping it Up
For more ways to be happier and live a simpler life, read 21 Proven Ways to be Incredibly Happy.
Until Next Time With Love,
