Hopefully, you have an idea of what a chaise lounge is. Think lack of intimacy.
It represents a place where only one can be seated. A place where there is no unity. Ultimately, secrets are kept and a mindset of “I know what’s best for us” resides.
Ego and pride also live here where “I” is more important than “us”.
Alternatively, a love seat is a place of unity and intimacy. A place of “us” against the world.
Open communication and transparency are easily intertwined. A mindset of how can I better serve my partner takes place in this position.
To add, there are no secrets. Instead a posture of teamwork and collaboration. A standard of trust.
Building cooperation in a relationship means you must go from the chaise lounge to the love seat and stay there.
Let’s review 8 simple ways to do this.
1. Don’t Keep Secrets
Secrets are just as poisonous as lies. Your conscious will still eat you up inside, and take up space in your mind, and use up your peace reservoirs only depriving your relationship of intimacy.
In short, if you are doing or saying anything that you wouldn’t do and say in front of your partner just stop. Infidelity starts in the mind as fantasies.
2. Lay Down Your Pride
Give up always being right for cooperation. Moreover, be able to say I’m sorry and most importantly give up “I” for “us”.
3. Be Vulnerable
This involves getting naked. Let your partner see your scars, let them see your wounds.
You should be able to come to them about anything without fear of judgment nor criticism. When you’re going through something whether financially, mentally, or emotionally speak up.
Hence, the burden is easier to bear when you share the load. And that’s what they’re there for. The Creator did not create us to stand alone.
Also, intimacy and trust are destroyed by keeping secrets that only taint your outward behavior.
If you are truly struggling with being vulnerable with your partner there’s a chance you may need to do some work on yourself to feel confident enough to let your guard down and secure enough to know that if someone leaves you because of your truth it’s a blessing.
4. Find Your Third Strand
Find God in your relationship because a three-strand cord is not easily broken.
Pray together. Pray for your partner. Also, pray for your relationship. Seek God’s perspective of your partner and of the problems that you may be facing in the relationship.
Above all, keep Him at the center of your union always.
Building intimacy with The Creator is just as, if not more important than just building it with your partner.
5. Don’t Assume the Worst
Don’t assume the worst. Resist the temptation to create this narrative that your partner doesn’t care, doesn’t love you, or doesn’t want to be with you.
One like thought creates another. So when one negative thought arises about your partner through disappointment, anger, or impatience make sure to nip it in the bud right away and stop yourself from going down that road.
Therefore, don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings and situations.
If your partner consistently behaves in a way that makes you think the worst of them or even uncertain of the relationship, take a look, at What You Need to Consider For a Long Lasting Relationship.
6. Make Communication a Priority
Let this be your daily bread. This is essential to any long-lasting, healthy relationship.
In truth, a lot of people are in relationships with people they don’t know. And it’s because the lines of communication are not open.
The more time you spend away from your partner not only physically, but emotionally and intellectually, the more awkward it gets. The more tension gets built because your partner (most especially a woman) will feel emotional neglect.
This is a major key to building intimacy and trust in a relationship.
Women thrive on being able to connect with their partners emotionally and intellectually the same way men treasure the physical connection.
7. Have an Agenda
Don’t get caught walking around aimlessly. Know what you are doing in a relationship, where you guys are going, and if you are choosing the right paths to get to your goals.
For example, take time out at least once a month for reflection as a couple.
- Measure the progress.
- Where did you guys go wrong?
- How can you get better as a team?
- How can you show up better for one another?
Praise each other where you guys went right to reinforce positive behaviors. Give encouragement and gratitude.
Additionally, take time to make deposits in your partner or spouse. Relationships are challenging but rewarding.
The successful ones at least. Do not negate this step.
8. Make Forgiveness a Lifestyle
Forgive time after time. Make forgiveness a lifestyle. Do it for the sake of “us”. This is something you must do daily if you want the relationship to last.
They’re going to hurt you, they will piss you off, they will make you angry. It’s a part of the trade-off, my friend. Most times it will be unintentional. Remember that.
The mission is to be as close to your partner as possible. Leave no gaps for the enemy to slide in to bring confusion, distraction, or upheaval to your relationship.
Take your place on the loveseat today.
Until Next Time With Love,
