Are you even attractive?
On most days are you getting flooded with compliments and acknowledgment of just how beautiful and attractive you are?
How stunning your outfit is?
How alluring your personality may be?
Or… on most days do people seem not to even notice you?
Do you blend in with the crowd and not garner any attention at all?
First and foremost whether you want to become more attractive to a guy or just feel better about yourself, I’m here to tell you- your desire is not vain and it doesn’t make you conceited.
Here’s what I know: “Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.”
We are trained and wired to judge not only our own outward appearance but the outward appearance of others.
It’s not that we can’t acknowledge and recognize someone’s character, and inner being- but as a safety mechanism and as a human creature we first see and analyze outer appearance.
So… the way I see it, the more you feel good about yourself and your appearance, and how you show up in the world, the more confidence you’ll have, the more you’re able to do, I’ll even say the better our world is.
Yea that’s a stretch.
But when you’re self-conscious about how you look, full of doubt about how attractive you are physically, and have no self-confidence in the midst of others you’re solely self-focused.
It’s easy to go into a crowd of people and be overly concerned and overthinking how you look, how you sound, how you walk, what people notice when they look at you, how come no one is speaking to you, and so much more.
This leaves you no mental capacity and creativity to be your authentic self and use your God-given gifts in any way that will help others because instead of feeling secure, beautiful, and attractive, you feel doubtful and unseen.
If you often catch yourself overthinking in public about your flaws, and how you look and compare yourself to others, I know how you feel. Here are 4 Compelling Secrets to Quiet the Mind Instantly just for you.
So here we’re gonna be unpacking what truly makes a woman physically attractive and the easy steps for you to start implementing today to become more attractive effortlessly.
Understanding the Secrets of Physical Attraction
Let’s talk a bit about physical attraction.
First, you must acknowledge that physical attraction is subjective. To each, his own, and each person or group of people desire something totally different physically.
So before you start this journey on “what can I enhance or change about myself”- realize that you need to be making these changes for yourself.
Just think about how some female celebrities are the “epitome” of beauty in our culture. Think Kim K, Rihanna, and Beyonce.
These women can be loved and hated by two unique groups in our culture and society. For example, Kim K is loved for her ‘beauty’ by many men and women for her full lips, full hips, and sense of fashion.
But there are many that hate how she looks due to the amount of plastic surgery she had done. Although some people exclusively don’t seem to care.
Rihanna is beautiful in her own right to many of us but do you honestly think 100% of humans think she’s beautiful?
There are some that don’t like her tattoos or tattoos on a woman period. I’m sure there are some that don’t care for her skin color, or how she dresses and sometimes shows an ample amount of skin.
Guess what, people are allowed their opinions, and we all have one.
This is why your pursuit to be more attractive has to be for you.
For you to feel good and for you to perform better from a place of peace and satisfaction.
With that out the way, let’s talk about a few traits that make a woman physically attractive.
Keeping up with your personal hygiene is key.
No one wants to be around someone who stinks unless of course, they stink as well – and if that’s the type of attention you’re looking for then disregard this tip.
Having a nice smile is also universally attractive in every language.
Everyone loves a nice smile and it’s one of the most complimented features of the body.
Along with personal hygiene, keeping well-groomed eyebrows and nails is also important just as having clear skin.
Having a physically fit body is also a rewarding quality.
Having a visible interest in the health of your body is important. You don’t have to be skinny to be fit, the most important thing is you remain within your weight range for your height and age.
Along with a fit body, feminine curves are also a qualifier for attraction.
Physically fit women with a surplus of muscles can be unattractive (to some). Feminine curves can be a plus.
Having a head full of healthy hair is a feature.
The Bible says that a woman’s long hair is her glory and her covering.
A head of hair damaged from heat, bleach, or relaxers with no life is not physically attractive for a woman. Neither are bald patches and slim to no edges due to tight styles and neglect.
Obviously, there are health conditions that can prevent some of these things to be achieved overall or for a period of time.
Once again, you have to be comfortable and make changes for yourself and come to an acceptance of the things you cannot change.
Now that we know what makes a woman attractive physically let’s jump into the 15 Painless Ways to be More Attractive, starting with physically.
How to Look Insanely Attractive
Since we’re on the topic of physical attraction let’s just keep the momentum. Here are 5 ways to easily be more physically attractive.
1. Up Your Beauty Game
Makeup is a game changer.
It’s not that makeup makes you beautiful or more beautiful, it instead enhances what you already naturally have.
Makeup can add definition and color, hide flaws, and make things pop, all with the stroke of a brush. Makeup is the paint and decor of the home.
It’s not that the house is not enough, it’s there to provide shelter, warmth, and protection- but the paint and decor add a different feel.
The lighting and shades of paint you’ll choose add a different temperature to the rooms, it enhances what’s already perfectly okay.
It’s the seasoning to the food that’s already nutritious by itself. Is it necessary? No. But does it add something great to the mix?
Yes.
In essence, you up your game by trying different makeup brands, watching Youtubers who give great tutorials, and trying on yourself over and over until your techniques get better and you learn how to properly enhance your own features with your own twist.
2. Captivate With Your Sense of Style
If you’re anything like me you dress for comfort, not style.
But can I let you in on a secret? When I do dress for style’s sake, that’s when I get the most compliments.
When you actually put effort into what you wear not only in the pieces you choose but how you wear them, that’s a key to attraction.
Wearing pieces that are flattering for your body type is essential.
Keep in mind once again that attractiveness in the eyes of others is subjective.
So many times while dressing I would ‘dress for others’ instead of wearing something that would make me happy.
Dress for your enjoyment and your excitement.
And you don’t have to have the latest trends or wear the most expensive brands to do that.
Whether you wear clothes from Goodwill or Nordstrom, it’s all about presentation.
Lastly, invest in some quality shoes. Usually, we alternate clothes more than we alternate our favorite pair of shoes.
For a woman, the shoes and handbag tie an outfit together- and what you wear is one of the first things someone notices about you.
- Make sure it’s cute- check.
- Make sure it’s flattering-check.
If you’re not tryna get noticed, then dress to blend in.
If you are tryna get noticed, then dress like you want to stand out.
Don’t limit your creativity here.
There are so many content creators that are literally taking nothing and making it into something in regard to fashion- scarves into tops, sweaters into sweater dresses with a simple belt, and classic button-downs into a week full of outfits (see here).
3. Work on Having Gorgeous Skin
Isn’t this an obvious one?
Well, often times we need reminders, even for the obvious stuff.
Clear skin is a gateway to feeling more attractive and having increased confidence.
Your skin is your largest organ. How it appears relates to your health and how well you take care of it, not only on the outside but from the inside as well.
Let’s discuss some of the basic tools for achieving and maintaining gorgeous clear skin.
Firstly, water.
Once again skin is an organ and all organs need water to function properly.
It needs you not touching your face, or anything else dirty and oily touching your face such as other people’s hands, your cell phone, and even your hair.
It requires eating a diet with a lot of fiber.
Toxins need to be released from your body so a buildup doesn’t cause your skin to be inflamed, trying to excrete a surplus of toxins.
Fiber helps toxins and waste to be released by your body via feces aka poop.
Your skin needs you to skip the meat some days.
Every day your skin is restoring and repairing itself.
The simpler the food you eat the more energy your body has to restore and repair.
Meat is harder for the body to break down and it takes longer to travel through the digestion system to be excreted- therefore slowing down the repair and restoration time of skin.
In addition, getting your ‘beauty rest’ (adequate sleep) is also crucial because this is when your body does the most work in repair.
Your skin needs you to avoid processed, fried, fast, and sugary foods.
These foods aggravate the skin by causing inflammation that leads to breakouts and acne.
Lastly, avoid stress.
Get a good skincare routine, try different methods to see what works for your skin (cause there’s no one size fits all) then listen to your skin to decide which regimen and products you should hold on to.
But remember the best treatment for your skin is going to be a clean diet and a surplus of water.
4. Sustain Your Health With Wholesome but Pleasurable Foods
Eating a healthy diet and drinking enough water doesn’t just affect your skin, it affects your overall health.
Sometimes if you’re bloated, have undereye bags, are at an undesirable weight, or if you feel tired all the time, it can be due to your diet.
Attractive people feel good in their bodies, not trapped in them or at the mercy of them.
Eat wholesome, real foods, but also foods that you can add your own twist to enjoy.
Sustaining healthy diets are easier when you make small changes that are easy to adjust to.
If you’ve struggled with being consistent with staying on course with a healthy diet and maintaining a healthy weight, The 4 Basic Things You Need to Know to Instantly Improve Your Health Guaranteed is for you.
5. Add a Feminine Touch
Masculine men love feminine women.
No heterosexual man wants someone with the same physical qualities as them.
So add a touch of perfume, dress tastefully sexy, and add some jewelry to complete your outfit.
- Light and thin pieces rather than heavy and bulky ones.
Add a swing in your hips when you walk and a burst of joy to your laughter.
Wear an off-the-shoulder dress instead of pants, or an open-back blouse to tastefully show skin at the neckline and back.
There are so many ways to add your feminine energy to how you show up in the world, be creative.
In the same fashion, it’s not just the physical that makes a woman attractive. Here are even more tips on how to be insanely attractive that have absolutely nothing to do with your looks.
How to Sound Naturally Attractive
When we’re talking about being mentally attractive or sounding naturally attractive, we’re talking about being attractive in conversation and getting past the initial physical attraction.
Let’s dive into the 5 ways to achieve this.
1. Be Intriguing & Stimulating
Have your own passions, interests, and goals.
It’s important especially in terms of keeping the attraction, to have a life of your own.
And that includes being a partaker in life, not just a bystander, but having your own story to tell people you converse with.
Have you ever been attracted to a guy who was good looking but due to conversation you realized he didn’t have much going for him?
That’s what we’re trying to avoid here.
If you’re at that point in your life where you’re still gaining clarity and momentum in your passions, purpose, and where your life is headed ask yourself these 10 Self-Discovery Questions to Unleash the Best Version of You This Year.
2. Be Engaging
Know what you want and don’t be passive.
Too many times we know what we want but we forfeit to say it because we want another person to like us and we don’t want to overshadow their desires.
Not only is this not attractive, but it’s also risky.
While you’re playing the “pleasing game” someone can easily take your passiveness and niceness for weakness.
Is it not the most frustrating thing to deal with someone who doesn’t know what they want?
Who wants whatever you want and doesn’t have a mind of their own due to passivity and people-pleasing?
Don’t be afraid to let your desires be known and to be assertive.
Your wants and needs, likes and dislikes matter just as much as the next person.
If you struggle with people pleasing, not wanting to step on toes, or caring just a bit too much, the 10 Best Strategies to Build Self-Confidence, Be Confident in Your Own Skin, and Kill Self-Limiting Beliefs is for you.
3. Tap Into Your Intellect and Be Magnetic
Exercise your intelligence and wisdom.
It’s one thing to be attractive by outer appearance, it’s another thing to keep being attractive when you open your mouth.
I don’t care how beautiful the packaging is on the outside, if it’s a terrible gift, the packaging doesn’t matter.
Intellect and wisdom take your outer attractiveness to another level.
When you open your mouth, it tells people you have substance and are not just a pretty face.
Of course, the best way to increase knowledge and wisdom is to continue to be a student of life, read books, and continually be in connection with the ultimate source of wisdom, God.
4. Speak Kindly and Softly
Be positive and optimistic and speak kindly.
In the infamous words of Kanye, ‘the prettiest people will do the ugliest things’.
This can be true.
Sometimes because of someone’s beauty, they feel like they can easily get away with being rude and speaking harshly to other people, I guess cause they’re ‘all that and a bag of chips’.
The reality is, you can be beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside.
A negative and hateful heart is far from attractive at all.
Speaking words of love and kindness and encouragement makes someone attractive.
It makes you want to be around them and truly care about getting to know them and their story.
Someone with a positive attitude that is not focused on their’s or others’ limitations is attractive.
Their mindset disobeys gravity and the downward pull to have a negative outlook on life.
So how can you keep your heart and your mind light, optimistic, and kind despite all the garbage of your past and present?
I’m glad you asked.
You have to consistently Release Your Emotional Baggage and Stop Delaying Your Healing and Growth.
5. Leave Room For Mystery
We all love a great mystery, we can’t help it, we love suspense and our minds are built to figure out puzzles.
Attractive people keep people guessing.
They don’t tell their own life story in one night, they allow people to keep wondering …
- And what happened next?
- And … what’s on her mind?
Don’t be an open book, especially with someone you don’t really know or trust.
Don’t spill your guts and the tea all in one night, leave a little bit of mystery and suspense in the air.
How to Be Attractive By Emotional Connection
1. Keep Your Cool
It’s wiser to be proactive, than reactive.
Anger lies in the bosom of fools. Forgiveness and a calm spirit attract the best of us.
How many of us have seen an intense blow up in public, whether between a couple or total strangers?
It can be awkward and even disturbing.
No one wants to be around someone who can’t control their anger, even if their reason to be angry is ‘justified’.
What’s really attractive?
A woman who knows how to avoid and handle conflict.
Engaging in petty arguments, and reacting to every offense and insult is not.
Not saying you shouldn’t stand up for yourself and assert your boundaries but remember- never argue with a fool, you’ll always lose.
Also, for people who don’t treat you well or speak to you harshly, you can still repay kindness for meanness.
I can wave at 1,000 people and smile good morning, with no acknowledgment at all-but I’m still going to keep waving, smiling, and acknowledging because I treat people by my own standards, not by how they treat me.
You have that amazing choice too.
2. Be Empathetic
Isn’t it just love to be around someone you can just be yourself with and not have to worry about what they’re thinking about you, them gossiping about you, but they honestly give you the space to just be you?
Who wouldn’t want to be around someone who empathizes with human existence and experience?
It’s attractive, it’s lovely, and it’s pure.
Being critical and judgemental of others, even yourself is not attractive in the least bit.
Practice showing grace to others, as well as yourself.
3. Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil
Do you really care about being attractive to others?
Really attractive women with confidence are not concerned with what other people think because you don’t have to tell them they’re attractive, they know.
You can always tell when someone is going out of their way to get your attention.
When simple ‘coincidences’ are not so simple.
When someone cares too much and is overly invested in what other people think it can be a turn-off.
Hey, why don’t you have enough confidence to know that from jump street, even before walking into a room or environment you’re ‘it’?
People can sense when you care about them caring.
The real focus here is whether you’re comfortable and excited about how you look, what you’re wearing, and how you’re showing up.
And you keep focused on this by not comparing yourself with others and not trying to achieve perfection which leads to feelings of inadequacy.
Do you not only look attractive (in your eyes) but do you FEEL attractive?
That’s what’s most important, nothing else.
4. Be Mature … Kinda
No one wants a pushover.
Echoing off one of the prior features of mental attraction, maturity includes knowing what you want, what you don’t want, and being able to establish and execute boundaries.
Maturity is attractive, not childish games and childish behavior.
Maturity is exuded in everything that you do, not just pretending.
Your level of maturity and wisdom is shown in all aspects of life, in your finances, in how you take care of business, in how you talk and deal with people, how you handle conflict, and reaches far beyond.
In your maturity, however, you can’t lose your playfulness, your light-heartedness, your joy, and your passion for life, because this too leads to attraction- having a child-like spirit even as you mature and get older.
5. Have a Magnetic Personality
A magnetic personality is a healthy one.
Having a healthy personality is like the special sauce to how to be attractive.
Someone who is whole, not broken, with a poor worldview and pessimistic outlook is a joy to be around.
When is the last time you heard a good joke and couldn’t stop laughing?
Someone with a good sense of humor is more attractive than someone who is stale and dry and can’t take a joke.
Someone who takes the time to care for their mental and emotional health will attract more people than someone who neglects these essential areas of our lives that impact the very core of who we are.
Wrapping it up
So here, I ask you again-are you attractive?
I’ve taken you past just the physical attraction because there’s so much that can make a person attractive and cause you to want to know more past just their looks.
We went over how simple tweaks to your presentation in makeup and style can make a world of difference.
We looked at how simple steps like speaking kindly and leaving room for mystery can ignite attraction in conversation.
Lastly, you learned how being empathetic to a person’s humanity, being a gentle soul, and not caring about what others are caring about can show immense confidence and up your emotionally attractive points to help you make deeper emotional connections.
Take these lessons and remember them (if they’ve helped). Remember, ‘man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at and examines the heart.’
Ultimately we know our identity is in Christ, not our externals, our character, or even the good works that we do.
Until Next Time With Love,
