The mistakes that women make when dating can be truly endless.
Naturally, I believe what hurts the most is knowing you’re the cause of…
- Your own time being wasted
- Your feelings being hurt
- & ultimately the delay in the arrival and love of your husband.
And it takes a different level of self-awareness to know that.
Moreover, a different level of responsibility and ownership is needed to know that you take part in every failed relationship, every guy you gave too many chances, and every bit of intuition you ignored until the grits hit the fan.
On the other hand, standing in a posture of expectation and faith that your story isn’t over yet and the love your seeking you will receive is a move within itself.
You’re elevating to a different level now.
You’re seeking what you’ve done/doing wrong and making positive changes to attract and keep lasting love, which will happen.
Surprisingly, these mistakes that women make when dating are often overlooked.
It’s the simple things that we forget as we search for complex answers.
For instance, it’s like the billions of dollars in research we spend to find a complex and profitable cure for cancer when the implementation of proper diet and exercise would eliminate at least half the deaths.
But diet and exercise are too basic so we search for the complex.
In essence, dating can be as simple as you make it.
I’m gonna share with you 4 fail-proof ways to do so, and the mistakes that women make when dating that you should avoid.
Let’s start here.
1. Burying Your Confidence
Sometimes meeting a guy you’re interested in can be intimidating.
Oftentimes, you’ll shy away from your true self hiding the very things that make you unique and special while caring way too much about what a guy will think of you.
In truth, let me set the record straight.
He has to love you for exactly who you are.
Easier said than done when you’re nervous, or you haven’t dated in a long time but just remember a real man will love and respect a real woman. That includes flaws and all.
In other words, be confident in your own identity, and who you are before you even meet the guy.
Too many women lose themselves in the pursuit to find someone else.
Similarly, there are honestly so many different areas to have self-confidence in when it comes to dating, so here I’m gonna go over a few:
- Be confident enough to walk away.
- Be confident in who you are with or without anyone else.
- Have confidence in knowing you’re going to find everything you want in a man.
- Remain confident enough to not compromise on your non-negotiables.
- Be confident in knowing God answers prayers and He sees you.
Be confident in your mindset to know without a doubt the man you want is out there and he wants you too.
Accordingly, that requires a positive mindset regardless of what you went through in the past or what your current situation may look like.
Again, being a whole person who is content and happy while you’re single gives you the strength to walk away when things aren’t going according to plan.
Alternatively, women who have no confidence in who they are, what they bring to the table, or the fact that they are an amazing catch often settle for less than what they deserve, scared they won’t get all of what they wish and ask for.
The lack or inability of a woman to have self-confidence is one of the biggest mistakes that women make when dating that I see.
Don’t let this be you.
You can find a quick start guide to building your Self-Confidence and Being Confident in Your Own Skin right here.
2. Failing to Raise Hell to Protect Your Boundaries
You must teach people how to treat you through boundaries, and that’s including yourself.
If you’re real, you know sometimes your mind wants to go in a tug-a-war with your spirit thinking it knows best.
But the mind was created to serve you. Your mind, just like your body is supposed to be controlled by you, your spirit.
For example, setting boundaries for yourself can sound like this:
- “I’m not answering any calls or texts from “this person” because I’ve made the decision to leave them and keep them in my past.”
Now, breaking this boundary would obviously be reconnecting with that same person from your past whom you said you would not contact.
Furthermore, boundaries should always be set as early as possible so no one (the man of course) gets confused, but most importantly has excuses as to why their behaviors deviate or surpass your boundaries.
Above all, don’t ever betray yourself enough to be scared to voice your concerns and make your boundaries clear.
You come first.
Your well-being comes first.
The state of your emotional and mental well-being is essential.
Consequently, if you’re not good, he’s not good, so take care of yourself.
In a word, there are many ways to implement boundaries but some look like this:
- Saying no
- Not forgiving over and over for the same offense
- Not allowing him to go MIA consistently with no explanation
- Refusing to have sex if you’re not ready or don’t want to
- Not tolerating being lied to
- Not caring about his feelings at the expense of your safety and wellbeing
In addition, take a look at this List of 6 Types of Healthy Boundaries You Deserve to Have & How to Maintain Them on Mind Body Green.
View examples and see what resonates with you while forming and keeping your own boundaries.
Often times you’ll have to fight your lower self just to fight to stick to the boundaries you made.
Thus that means overcoming your tendencies, the negative inner conversation, and putting your own mind under submission.
Learn more about gaining control over your mind and your will to make better decisions in dating and in life overall in this blog post.
3. Sleeping on Your Intuition
You’re comatose most days when it comes to your intuition.
And out of all the mistakes that women make when dating, not listening to their intuition is the riskiest.
Especially because 10 out of 10 times our intuition is right on the money.
Thus, nothing that we’ve been through we didn’t see coming.
And if you’re one of those who had an experience you really had no idea was coming, your off.
Naturally, spiritual grounding brings discernment and it also brings wisdom which are two things a woman absolutely needs when dating.
A lack of prayer life, reading of the Word, and not enough alone time with God can cause you to be off your game.
As a consequence, this leads to things that are missed that our spirit tries to warn us about and instead our own minds, lusts, and desires end up leading the way.
On the other hand, sometimes we do hear our spirit talking but we’re so romance and “man” focused we ignore the red flags and the stop signs.
We give the benefit of the doubt when we know we shouldn’t and wait to find evidence and proof instead of just leaving in our peace.
The longer you stay and ignore your gut feeling, the harder it is for you to leave.
On a serious note, we must learn to listen to what people do, and not what they say.
If you’re here and you’re having a hard time saying goodbye when you know you need to, read this.
4. Betraying your Values
Your values help pave the way for your dating experience.
You determine through your values how you will be treated, and what type of man you will even give your time to.
One of the mistakes that women make when dating is finding a guy that meets most of their needs, just to compromise on one of their values or non-negotiables to appease the guy.
Take for example you’re looking for someone
+ Educated
+ Family-oriented
+Successful Career
+Caring/Loving
+ Honest
+ Sense of Humor
And he’s checked every box. But there’s one thing.
He smokes.
Conversely, one of your core values is health because you want a partner that will live a long and prosperous life with you and not be an unnecessary and self-inflicted burden to you.
Now because you’ve been
+Lonely
+ Single for 8 months
+ Don’t know how to act
+ Love the Attention
+ Focusing on all the good stuff
You neglect the value that you have…. Initially.
But oftentimes we resent ourselves for that.
Moreover, we resent not putting our foot down and demanding what we want or kindly and politely walking away no matter what they offer or how they continue to pursue you.
It’s like God is just watching and waiting to see if you really want what you ask for and how determined you are to receive that.
Whereas you will be blinded by something that looks like and sounds like what you want but it’s not the real thing.
Above all, set your standards and don’t deviate.
You have to stay loyal to your values, your own self-worth, and your principles.
Don’t accept anything less than what you want and don’t make excuses for him just so you can hold on to a fantasy that he may change or that you will be okay with compromising.
Similarly, whatever he has to offer whether physically, financially, or emotionally, does not give an excuse for poor behavior or treatment.
No one is perfect, but you shouldn’t be compromising who you are and what’s important to you just to have someone by your side.
Consider this before you fully commit to a relationship.
Wrapping Up
To wrap up, the major mistakes that women make when dating includes not being confident enough in who they are, who they can land, and what they bring to the table.
In the same fashion, not establishing boundaries, or establishing them just to fail to keep them teaches men exactly how to treat you.
Don’t betray yourself.
Always honor your intuition and have a level of discernment by listening to what your spirit tells you because it’s always speaking.
Lastly, keep your values and principles regardless of what may come your way, stand strong in your character and you will attract a man that will match or even exceed your expectations.
Until Next Time With Love,
