Now, we’ve all had our share of experiences with not-so-nice people who pour out not-so-nice words. Toxic people who are internally miserable.
And you know the saying. Misery loves company.
Our jobs are one of the main places where The Creator seems to test us the most.
We’re faced with seeing the same faces day in and day out, dealing with the same attitudes and personalities that often clash with our soul.
Unlike when you’re at a function or outing where you can just walk away if you clash with someone. At work, school, or if it’s family,
Boo Boo . . . . . You Stuck.
Hooowweevvveeerrr, and it is a big however. I’m here to share with you how to survive and keep your sanity when dealing with toxic people you can’t avoid.
And truth be told it’s not good to always avoid these types of people anyways.
A little challenge can give you some much-needed growth. So pick your poison. . .
- rude
- negative
- inconsiderate
- petty
- whatever other word you can think of
Learn and master these 4 ways to deal with difficult and toxic people allowing no one to have the ability to move you. (except for Jesus Christ of course, the Holy Spirit should always move you)
Be one step closer to the ultimate version of yourself.
Add this to your personal resume of personal development; the ability to successfully manage toxic people. Leh go!
1. Lean Into Who You Are
Start looking at yourself as the woman you will be 5 to 10 years from now and start carrying yourself in that manner.
Define who you are. Identify your values and don’t default on the vision you have for yourself.
Now, what the heck does this have to do with dealing with difficult people?
Everything.
You must realize how people treat and speak to you has nothing to do with you. It’s never about you, it’s always about them.
Moreover, it’s based on their belief system, their experiences, and the attitudes that they carry.
How you present yourself to the world through speech and behavior is a reflection of what’s going on inwardly.
So define your belief system and your values. Determine how you will act in spite of adversity and annoyance, and refuse to deviate.
Don’t have a set of beliefs and values yet? Read my post The 10 Life Tips for you to Live an Incredible Life. This will give you some ideas.
Lean into who you are. Then take it a step further and lean into who you want to become.
On the other hand, even if you’re not a cool, calm, and collected type of person, but you know starting that business or being successful in that healthy relationship requires these attributes:
- patience
- kindness
- compassion
- maturity
. . . then envision it. The vision you have for yourself does not include going Tit for Tat with haters, negative nancies, and people with no sense of vision or purpose.
Envision who you want to be, and who you can be, and lean into that person.
2. Act. Don’t React.
First and foremost, you’re not like everybody else. You are great and you are powerful.
As a result, no one like you has ever walked the face of this earth. You’re a unique individual.
Do not allow other people to negatively influence your behavior, your thoughts, or the spirit of your day.
Above all else, do not meet rude and uncompromising people at their level, but rise above it.
Consequently, to yield and come down to someone’s level in retaliation to a comment or action is to allow them to have power over you. They are now in control, and this is exactly what they want.
“Respond Intelligently even to Unintelligent Treatment.”
Lao Tzu
You rule you, and no one else.
Only you decide how you’re gonna act and how you will respond to someone. Don’t allow bad or rude behavior to change your character even temporarily.
You always have the choice and the power to decide.
Here are 10 Uplifting Quotes to Give You Power and Confidence when facing toxic people.
3. Add a Spoon Full of Sugar
No one is perfect, and one thing that The Creator does is show us kindness and favor despite our many wrongdoings.
You may not believe that rude, inconsiderate, or toxic people need or even deserve kindness, but give it anyway.
Don’t let how someone acts determine how you will act. Instead, treat them just as you would any other person.
The Good Book says that we should forgive so that our sins can be forgiven. Treat your enemy well so that heaps of coals will be upon their head.
If nothing else, show kindness and forgiveness for the sake of yourself, for your own life, for your own happiness.
When approached with a toxic person . . .
- maintain your composure
- take a deep breath
- think before you speak
- pay attention to your tone of voice and facial expression
- don’t give a reaction that would warrant them getting a feeling of satisfaction from approaching you in a toxic manner.
- if all else fails just shake your head while walking away and say something on the lines of “the devil is busy”.
Have the maturity and the grace to still be kind, still show respect when respect is not given, knowing that the Creator is watching everything and sees your heart.
To demonstrate how your behavior can impact your life let’s look at 2 examples.
1. God sent a prophet to tell King Hezekiah to get his house in order because his death was soon approaching.
THEN. . . this same God later added 15 years to the king’s life upon his request to consider his faithfulness, (i.e. his behavior) over the years.
2. When freed from Egypt, the Hebrew Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years because of their behavior.
The worshiping of other gods, their murmuring, and complaining caused them to miss out on their ultimate blessing, the promised land.
Thus, don’t ever think your works go unnoticed or will leave you void and come back to you empty.
“The [arrogant] fool’s anger is quickly known [because he lacks self-control and common sense], But a prudent man ignores an insult.”
Proverbs 12:16 | Amplified Version
4. Consider Their Level
People who are rude and inconsiderate have failed in the most valuable areas of life, communication, and temperance.
You can only do better when you know better, and you don’t know what you don’t know.
Some people just don’t know how to communicate effectively and appropriately in certain settings.
In addition, some people just don’t know how to control their emotions in order to respectively communicate their thoughts or feelings at all.
Particularly if someone is going through hardship or crisis in their life.
This is why it’s important to always step out of the situation and consider it from all aspects when dealing with toxic people.
At the end of the day, people are a product of their environments, their decisions, and their demons. Someone who is inconsiderate towards your feelings and rude upon approach may have been exposed to that type of behavior and lifestyle for a long period of time.
A lot of behavior is learned. Sometimes consciously and unconsciously. True maturity is the ability to go past knowing to understanding.
“He who is slow to anger has great understanding [and profits from his self-control], But he who is quick tempered exposes and exalts his foolishness [for all to see].”
Proverbs 14:29 | Amplified Version
Re-read that last quote again.
Summary
1. Identify who you are now, envision who you’re on your way to becoming, and lean into that person.
2. Don’t allow people to gain power over you through their words and actions. You rule you. No exceptions.
3. Remember to be kind, and show compassion and forgiveness just as The Creator has awarded you these gifts.
4. Consider where people are in life. You may have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom to be able to communicate effectively without allowing your emotions or what’s going on in your life to impact how you treat others, but some people may have not mastered this yet.
5. Remember to use wisdom and discernment. Someone who is consistently and overtly disrespectful, violent, demeaning, unremorseful, and those who intentionally want to harm you should be avoided and boundaries executed.
“Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.”
Albert Einstein
The best healthcare is self-care. Take back your power.
Until Next Time Ladies With Love,
